Rick Haines Ministries

Work Smart

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
"Dear son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.  Love Dad."
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, for heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES. Love son."
At 4 am the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire garden area. But when they didn't find any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. Later that same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Son."

One  Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer  of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names  and small American flags mounted on both sides of it. The  six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the  pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good  morning Alex."
"Good morning Pastor," he replied,  still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?" 
  The pastor said, "Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men  and women who died in the service." 
  Soberly, they just  stood together, staring at the large plaque.
    Finally, little Alex's  voice, barely audible  and trembling with fear asked,
"Which service, the 8:30 or the  10:30?"


The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'


9 year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . 
When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.  Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. 
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'
'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother asked.
'Well, no, Mom.  But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!'


The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.  One day, she asked him why.  'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages.  'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'  'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.


When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).   For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'And all girls.'  This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.  My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'  Her response:  'Because everybody always finishes their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'


Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.  Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.  'Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer.'  said his mother.  'I don't need to,'  the boy replied.  'Of course, you do.'  his mother insisted.  'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'  'That's at our house.'  Johnny explained.  'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'